Title: A Reason to Lie
E-mail: eli @ popullus.net
Rating: PG
Posted: Oct. 13, 2003
Spoilers: Alias 3.02 and 3.03.
Summary: Their choice. His decision.
Disclaimer: Profit? What profit? Read.
A/N: Completely unbeta'd. Trying to get at least one permutation out of my way before the next episode runs it over.

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He thinks silently.

That would seem obvious, but it's harder to do than most would believe. Thinking is reflected in the posture, in the expression, particularly in the eyes. When Sark is thinking, should he chose, it is a study in silence.

Sitting at the table, waiting for the next step along a new path, he was as silent as the room around him. Perhaps it was the other way around. Did he draw the blankness that shrouded the room over and into himself? Or did the shadows deepen in response to his presence under the single light overhead?

When they told him what had been done, what they had made happen, there was no break; the fault lines lie deep.

They once lay deeper. The world has tested his will to survive, to be master of his self, since before he knew what self was, and the last two years did more than refine him. Tempered steel, while strong, is still a substance made of molecules held together by the frailest of forces.

It also a substance that, like any other, would be unable to hold against an explosion -- such as a scream building, rising in a demand from a source deep within.

He sits now in more comfortable surroundings. Chains and locks are replaced by slick watches and shaded gardens bounded only by sun-bleached trees. He is held up by deep cushions covered in tasteful, muted colors -- take note, no patterns allowed -- instead of bare wood and frigid metal. Rough jumpers give way once again to tailored jackets over silk against skin, and he does not hide his pleasure at that last from general view.

The glass he holds lightly between his fingertips contains the same wine as before; a shame, the vintage has soured since his memory, but he doesn't control the cellar. He sips delicately as others conduct conversations around him, nods calmly as eyes are directed his way, speaks courteously when a vocal response is required.

He thinks silently --

-- he is in the light while she is in the dark, but --

-- shadows are much more comfortable, for --

-- necessity needs no more explaining than expediency, yet --

-- acquiring a father has made him a boy again, and --

-- children are selfish creatures, remarkable --

-- the power of truth to change a world.

They are the first to decide not to lie to him, and so far he has repaid them with his presence and expertise.

They probably would have been better off withholding that gift, taking the money, and running.

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