TITLE: Non-Birthday Present
E-MAIL: eli @ popullus.net
RATING: PG
POSTED: Aug. 16, 2004
SUMMARY: Casey didn't follow the rules.
NOTES: Written for Anna's birthday, and it turned into more than a comment-drabble.
DISCLAIMER: Read
A box dropped onto Dan's keyboard, covered in pale teddy bears.
"Gee."
"Happy birthday, buddy," Casey said. He had a huge grin on his face that didn't go away, even when Dan raised his head to level a look at the fool sitting on the desk opposite him.
"You know I wasn't born yesterday, right?"
"Yeah."
Dan picked up the box and placed it carefully on the pile of mail in the middle of his desk before turning back to his computer. "Or today," he said as he considered the "asodihe" that the box had typed, decided he didn't want Jeremy trying to figure out what language it was, and then erased it.
"I know."
Casey's voice was finally sounding a little strained, so Dan pushed off from his desk and folded his arms. "Or on any date that falls within the last or next, oh, let's say six months," he said, scowling.
"Open the damn present, Dan," Casey said.
"I'll open the damn present, Casey, when you tell me why you said it was a birthday present and, more important, why it's wrapped in paper that would look more at home at the baby shower for Suzanne in graphics than sitting on top of a lapsed-subscription notice for Soccer America."
Shooting a quick glance toward the door, Casey slipped off his desk. He started to speak, but Dan freed one hand and held it up, pointer finger extended in a directive to keep quiet. Casey's mouth snapped shut. His eyes holding Casey's irritated ones, Dan leaned forward and called, "Oh, Dana."
There was a muffled exclamation, then a low curse that was dirty enough to raise Dan's eyebrows, and Dana stumble-hopped into view, catching herself on the doorframe.
"Hi there, Dan," she chirped, then cast a disgusted look toward the floor on her left.
Dan gave her a tight smile. "Natalie? Jeremy?"
Jeremy slowly stepped into view. "And Elliot," he said, pulling on his shirt until the arms were the same length again.
"Not Kim?" Dan asked. Casey started to fidget.
"She..." Dana brought up a fist and coughed into it.
"I think you're supposed to say something while you do that."
"Thank you, Natalie," Dana said, glaring until Natalie finally poked her head around the door.
"Hey, Dan!" she said with a smile.
Dan nodded at her. Then he turned back to face Casey. "Is there an explanation?" he asked, "or shall I go back to typing in the hope that that will make you all fade away?"
Casey leaned down to plant his hands flat on Dan's desk. "I didn't get you a present."
Dan looked down at the bears.
"For your last birthday," Casey said through gritted teeth.
Raising only one eyebrow wasn't always possible, but Dan deemed it necessary to go with the look he gave that statement.
Casey hauled in a deep breath. "Apparently gifts exchanged in private among co-workers, when not disclosed within the 'appropriate time period'--" he briefly turned his glare on the door and Dan struggled not to smile before Casey's head turned back, "--don't count."
"Reeeally," Dan observed.
"Yep," Natalie said. "Why do you think we do that big rip-and-cake ceremony in the conference room for everyone on staff?"
Dan shrugged. "Sort of figured it was for the cake."
"That, too," Elliot said, looking in from Dana's other side.
"Excuse me!" Casey shouted.
Everyone froze. Dan looked up at Casey.
"So I should open the damn present," he said, fingering the tape on the side facing him.
"Yes," Casey said.
"In front of the audience."
"Please."
Dan slanted a look at the door. "Everyone got a good view?"
"Actually--"
"Shut up, Elliot," Dana said, giving him a poke with her elbow.
After one more pause, just to see if Casey would crack and do it for him, Dan tore open the wrapping paper, ripping a bear in half.
"You like it?" Casey asked.
"Yes." Dan nodded and crumpled the wrapping paper in a ball. "Thanks."
"Okay." Casey pushed himself upright and walked toward the door, arms out. "Show's over, folks. At least one of you has work to do, so...go. Do it."
"But I--"
"We--"
Dan held the box over his head. "Night light," he called out.
Dana yelped, "What?" but Casey was already shutting the door. Then he went and sat down behind his desk. Dan tossed the balled-up paper in one hand.
"Didn't tell them, huh?" he asked.
"Like I was going to tell them that."
"Usually they'll worm everything out of you within the first week. Or trick you within the first day."
Casey shook his head.
Dan cocked his own, considering. "Cool." He tossed the paper at the trash can and they both watched it bounce and hit the door. "So I should make sure to have a present next week, I guess."
Casey sighed. "Yeah, that'd probably be good."
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